I'm finding this hard right now, I guess you may have realised, There's a lot going on in my life,

But I need to say, I am NOT unlucky,

I have LOVE around me, more than many people ever see,

Not only do I have the worlds loveliest wife, but I have friends, and particularly a friend I see as my SISTER, who always seems to know when I need a hug, when I need a kick up the backside, or when I just need to be alone, and this is someone who is so very very busy, and has her own issues too,

Meanwhile the pain is bad, my breathing is very bad, walking to the bathroom and back is exhausting me, and leaving me drained,

I'm not coping, I don't know what else can be done, I see no positive change in my future,

The love around me is all I have between hope and hopelessness!

And to another friend, another Ham who shares the loneliness of health issues, I'm sorry I will be in touch, It's been difficult to keep up the contacts I want too!  

Hey enough WALLOWING in self pity, I am still here, and this blog takes away a little of the stress, a little of the despair, thanks for listening,