In a time when so many are suffering so greatly in many parts of the world,especially in Libya and even more so in Japan,

I really hate feeling sorry for myself!

But the loneliness and the despair of pain drags me down day after day, 

Today hasn't been that bad, as things go, but today I'm tired, physically tired, so tired I feel like crying, and mentally tired of seeing no change, of nothing improving or helpiung,

I'm tired of the latest witchhunt  against "Fat People",  

I rarely leave my home, I'm afraid of the taunting and teasing, I'm afraid of the problems I have walking and breathing,

I fall, that scares me, yeah I know , grow up!  

Man Up! 

In one fall a few weeks back, I couldn't even get up, so lucky Wendie was there,

I panick too,


Don't think I don't know I'm selfish, I do!  

I'd give my right arm to help in Japan or Libya, to help others to forget my pain,  

I'd just like to make the most of my life,

And to be Useful for the first time in nearly 12 years!